I am way too interested in everything.

I have the worst time settling down and paying attention to one thing at a time. If I was in school today, I'd probably be diagnosed with borderline ADD.

I have opinions on everything. Everything. I try, or I want to try everything. If I learn about something I have to read up on it.

It's a curse I tell you.

No really, it is. Working on one thing and only one thing is a form of torture for me. I get all itchy and jumpy and want to wiggle my feet and dance around. Or surf the internet. It's the same difference really.

I think this is on my mind because I've been hideously busy at work. Just after getting over the flu. Having to concentrate on one thing and get it done, and feel sort of sickish while doing so. It's not even Wednesday, and I'm so ready for the weekend.

I had two martinis tonight. Whee! It's like I've imported a tiny bit of the weekend into my week.

But now I must go and work on my homework. And concentrate on one thing and get it done. After having two *martinis.

*Just think, at one point in American business life, this would have been a normal part of your working day. "The three-martini lunch". How on earth did people do it?

I am so sick...

I have a high fever, sore throat, cough and I'm sneezing constantly. I went to class last night, and it made trying to pay attention to stocks and the legal definition of a corporation *challenging*. Then we had a group project, and I'm trying to not sneeze on the person I'm doing the project with. I played it cool and didn't mention how ill I was. No one wants to know that the person they're sitting next to in cramped classroom is Typhoid Mary.

Curiously, this flu makes me very social and outgoing at work. Probably because I'm so feverish that my native shyness and reserve have completely disappeared. I'll chatter happily with anyone about anything. It's sort of fun really, this must be what it's like to be an extrovert.

I'm so glad to read this.

Oh give me a globe...

I've always loved snow globes. My paternal grandparents had a glorious knick-knack shelf in their house, set high so that children couldn't casually touch it and it was a treat for them to take an item down and allow me to handle it.

The best one of all was the snow globe. I think it was a plastic novelty one (probably from Portugual) and I loved it. I would shake until the snow whirled and when it started to slow I would shake it some more.

It might have even beat out china chicken for the pleasure it gave me, and the china chicken held candies.

I always associated snow globes with relatives, and special visits, and it wasn't until my tween years that it occurred to me to ask for a snow globe of my very own. It was from my Mom as a birthday present. It was one of my first adult gifts (wipe that smirk off your face, you know what I mean) and because it had been a special request, I've always treasured it.

Over time my globe showed signs of wear. The water had started to slowly leak so that there was an ugly air bubble at the top, and the globe (still sealed) had come loose from the base, and would fall out if you weren't careful. It had become a half-broken thing, not worth displaying in the living room but too pretty and full of memories to be discarded.

Then I heard of this guy. He repairs snow globes, refilling with water, replacing glass, repainting interiors, even customizing at request. He's very professional to work with, and my newly refurbished globe (new glass, fresh water) sits proudly by my computer.

It just came today, and every half hour or so I pick it up and give it a shake. I shake until the snow whirls and it starts to slow and then I shake it again. And then I smile.

Edward Gorey Quiz

You will die drunk in some cold alley. Let up on
all of the alcohol for a while.

What will be your Edward Gorey death?
brought to you by Quizilla

I Shall Call Her...Mini-Me!

As I was sorting through the mail today at the office, I found this catalog in one of our executive's mail.

MY TWINN...The one-of-a-kind doll created to look like the special child in your life. (tm)

8 eye colors, 4 skin tones, and lifelike face molds created by Master Sculpters match a wide variety of children's face shapes....

We use the highest quality, hair, styled and cut (for an additional fee) by our professional hairdressers for a beautiful likeness....

If you choose, your personalized doll can be hand painted. Even special details like freckles or birthmarks can be added.

All our matching outfits are custom designed with lots of attention to detail for style, comfort and durability.

Creepy little doppelgangers.

My least favorite part of their catalog are the pictures that include Moms. Mom, Daughter and Doll, all with similar coloring, features, hair and matching Mother-Daughter-Doll dresses.

People often treat their kids as no more than extensions of themselves, but it's rare that trait is catered to so explicitly.

A glimpse of infinity can be had by imagining a Pretty Mother with a Pretty Daughter with a Pretty Doll, practicing for the day when she's a Pretty Mother with a Pretty Daughter with a Pretty Doll and...

Yeesh.

And, there's something curiously Sunset Boulevard about a woman having one of these.

I do have to admit, I would have loved a My Twinn as a little girl. But, the company's marketing gives me the willies. The eternal tryptech of trophy doll, trophy little girl, and trophy wife.

Friday Five

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed?

It's the same name.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?

I like all of my name, and wouldn't change it. Even as a small child, I had no intention of ever taking a man's name at marriage.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)

First name: My Mom, and it came to her in a dream. Haven't I mentioned my parents were hippies?

I got off easy. As a little hippy child, I played with a little girl named America. This was back when wearing the flag was an earthy, counterculture expression of patriotism, not something only Neo-Cons do.

I wonder if she still goes by that name? Or does she say to people, "call me Amy"?

Middle name: A family name that is associated with a historical figure to whom I'm distantly related. I don't want to go into too much detail, because that would be telling, but it's a historical figure I'm pleased to have a link to.

Last name: My last name is one of the names that was taken by Sephardic Jews when they converted to Christianity. Any sense of Judaism has long since departed my family, but the name none the less serves as a marker of distant Jewish ancestors being forced to abandon their faith.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?

I get crushes on names. I'm currently fascinated by Neve, pronounced "neeve". That one started when I was watching Red Cap.

I also develop aversions to names, usually based on dealing with unpleasant people.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it?

This part at kabalarians.com is fair enough,

The name of Marina has created a congenial nature with the desire to associate in friendship and understanding both socially and in the business world. Peaceful and settled conditions appeal to you and you are naturally desirous of having the security of a home, where your life could follow a definite pattern, and where you would not have to make major decisions. You find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because you lack confidence, and also because you dislike any issues which create dissension between people. Procrastination is a weakness of your nature, causing an inability always to complete your plans or to concentrate for long....You desire refinement, understanding, and appreciation, yet sometimes your outward attitude does not reveal your innermost feelings, and thus you have never felt truly understood.

This part is dead wrong,

You need to see a concept presented completely in detail before you can understand it, and if you cannot understand it, you come to your own conclusion and often fail to listen to and reason out another's point of view. You resist being forced into change and could become almost impervious to new ideas.

The truth or a cover story?

I was having a pretty good day at work yesterday, helping a coworker with her computer. I learned she watches Queer Eye, so we now have something to talk about.

I was getting rid of attachments in her email program, when I ran across one I wasn't familiar with.

Me: What's that?

Co-worker: Oh. That's my resume. I like to print out an updated copy and keep it handy.

I smiled and said, "Of course, that makes perfect sense".

I lied through my teeth. Has anyone ever updated and printed out a copy of their resume when they weren't actively looking for work? 'Cause I sure haven't.

I suppose it is possible. She's a twitch, and if anyone on this planet keeps a resume around "for my files" it'd be her. But, I think she's looking for a new job.

Good for her.

I will laugh and laugh if the two of us leave and get new jobs at the same time.

WaterFire

As a belated birthday present, my parents took me out to Waterfire. This is a public installation in Providence, Rhode Island. Bonfires are built in the middle of the three rivers that run through downtown Providence, music plays and people hang out and talk and watch the fires. I've heard it described as "like First Night, only not cold". There's street performers and venders, although not as many as you might see at a First Night event.

I have to give the artist who thought up the idea of Waterfire a lot of credit. The idea is a simple one, but it turns downtown Providence into a special, beautiful place. It's very like the way newly fallen snow makes everything so fresh and enticing, and you look at your daily haunts with new eyes.

It was very crowded. The site was packed with people, but there was none of the stress that usually accompanies crowded public events.

And, the variety of people was amazing. I saw clubbing gay couples, families with loads of little kids, old people walking their dogs, packs of college students, too many types of people to note, and everyone was getting along fantastically. Some people were clearly drinking, but no one was out of control or sloppy. People were climbing all over the banks of the river, some in very precarious positions but no one was doing anything foolish or dangerous. The spousal unit's theory is that fire is inherently calming. As far as I could tell, there was very little police presence and no need for any.

Special mention must be given to the street performer mime dressed as a bride. Her performance consisted of depicting a mechanical doll. She'd "come to life" and go through a serious of graceful, eerily mechanical movements (blowing kisses, beckoning, adjusting her veil) and then gradually stop. She stood on a pedestal, and her dress completely disguised her lower body and feet, so it looked as if she was part of the pedestal. I'm describing this badly, but her performance was very strange and beautiful to watch.

If you get a chance, do take a trip out to Waterfire. There's a couple of more installations before the end of the season, and of course, there's always next year.

Waterfire links
Official Waterfire Site
Some pictures
A WaterFire Performer

Getting to know you Uber Alles...

I signed up for a listserve where they screen you before admitting you to the group. Usually this isn't a big deal, they ask a few basic questions to make sure you're not a troll or a spammer.

The moderator of this listserve wanted a whole laundry list of information, including first name, location, occupation, hobbies, favorite websites and favorite food.

I don't think so.

I wrote back "innocently" inquiring as to whether I'd misunderstood the purpose of the listserve. Was this supposed to be a dating service?

No, this is to ensure our members have safe space.

Which involves me sharing which websites I visit regularly?

Who the hell runs this listserve, John Ashcroft?

Mind you, on the website connected to the listserve and in email correspondence, Mr. Moderator does not see fit to share his name. He goes by the name of a minor character from Dune. For all I know, he is John Ashcroft.

So, I write back letting Mr. Minor-Dune-Character that I've never run into this with any list that screens members, I don't think it's appropriate, and I don't think this list is for me. Then I send the command to take myself out the queue to be approved.

I receive a syrupy automatic "we're sorry you unsubscribed" message.

We're so sorry you unsubscribed from the list! Please, if there's ANYTHING we can do to make this list better, PLEASE let us know!

Oh, you so lie.

Of course, I now know what I should have written Mr. Minor-Dune-Character in response to the questions.

First name: Princess Irulan

Location: Dune...Arrakis

Occupation: Princess Royale

Hobbies: Prana-bindu exercises and plotting.

Favorite websites: www.I-wanna-get-knocked-up-by-Paul-Atreides.org

Yeah, kiss my Princess Royale ass.

Thank the Gods...

For over the counter generic Claritin. Aka Loratadine.

I'm allergic to a lot of different things, up to and including pollen. It's getting worse as I get older, so I find myself turning into Paranoid Allergy Girl, wondering what the next item I can't eat or makes me sneeze is going to be, and obsessing over air filters and a Miehl vacuum cleaner.

Untreated, I sneeze a lot and drip a disgusting amount of mucus. My father's the same way, and I remember him walking around the house with tissues jammed up his nose in an effort to stem the flow. Not even absorb it, just cork it up. Disgusting, but you do what you gotta do. Not very pretty, and not something you can do at work.

Most over the counter antihistimines leave me almost useless. About all I'm up for is an exciting day of watching TV with my slack jaw resting on my collarbone. Or napping.

But I love Loratadine. I can't express how much I love it. It really works, and doesn't leave me in a fog.

Nice weekend

Lovely weekend. I was feeling under the weather so I spent most of it puttering and watching TV and doing beadwork. I'm almost finished with a necklace I've been working on for a ridiculously long amount of time, I should take a picture of it when I'm done.

Since I like nothing better than a good forensic or true crime show, I watched at least eight hours of Cold Case Files and American Justice combined, mostly Cold Case Files. Dorothy L. Sayers had a theory that detective mysteries are modern morality plays. A crime occurs and the world is out of balance, and unfolding of the plot (detective work, perp caught, justice done) sets everything right again.

I certainly get that out of Cold Case Files, and I like the way the show is (don't laugh) very woman-centered. They seem to have a large number of female pathologists profiled on their show, usually smiling as they explain how the DNA test they conducted pinned the serial rapist-murderer. Also, a good number of female friends/relatives who "knew something was wrong" and pestered police to look into the victim's death more closely or did PI work on their own.

A lot of true crime shows focus on woman as victim, while Cold Case Files really focuses on the ability of even ordinary women to make justice happen. If I had a daughter I'd want her watching this show. Providing she was old enough to handle grisly crime scene photos and discussions about serial rapist-murders of course.

The other fun thing I did was go to Hart Farms in Harwich and buy hardy mums. I love mums, they're so gorgeous at this time of year. Hart Farms is also such a nice place, they have local produce and resident cats that stop by when you look at plants and everyone working there is so nice.

It's a perfect early fall rainy day. I love days like this, cool and cosy and the rain coming down makes me want to sit inside and drink coffee and wear a sweater and make cookies. Summer just seems so tired and old right now, I'm loving the new season and looking forward to the start of school.

Of course my co-worker is whining about how, "It's WINTER already."

Twit. That's called "fall in New England. It's good stuff.

I only wish we had a fireplace...I'd love to curl up in front of a little fire...