I signed up for a listserve where they screen you before admitting you to the group. Usually this isn't a big deal, they ask a few basic questions to make sure you're not a troll or a spammer.
The moderator of this listserve wanted a whole laundry list of information, including first name, location, occupation, hobbies, favorite websites and favorite food.
I don't think so.
I wrote back "innocently" inquiring as to whether I'd misunderstood the purpose of the listserve. Was this supposed to be a dating service?
No, this is to ensure our members have safe space.
Which involves me sharing which websites I visit regularly?
Who the hell runs this listserve, John Ashcroft?
Mind you, on the website connected to the listserve and in email correspondence, Mr. Moderator does not see fit to share his name. He goes by the name of a minor character from Dune. For all I know, he is John Ashcroft.
So, I write back letting Mr. Minor-Dune-Character that I've never run into this with any list that screens members, I don't think it's appropriate, and I don't think this list is for me. Then I send the command to take myself out the queue to be approved.
I receive a syrupy automatic "we're sorry you unsubscribed" message.
We're so sorry you unsubscribed from the list! Please, if there's ANYTHING we can do to make this list better, PLEASE let us know!
Oh, you so lie.
Of course, I now know what I should have written Mr. Minor-Dune-Character in response to the questions.
First name: Princess Irulan
Location: Dune...Arrakis
Occupation: Princess Royale
Hobbies: Prana-bindu exercises and plotting.
Favorite websites: www.I-wanna-get-knocked-up-by-Paul-Atreides.org
Yeah, kiss my Princess Royale ass.
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