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Dolphin With Rabies

Life on beautiful Cape Cod.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

I am bad.

I carefully started plants from seed and planted them out in my yard. They look lovely. They're growing well. Unfortunately, I was looking through some wildflower and invasive plant sites and it turns out that I'm planted an invasive plant.

Oops.

Guess I'd better rip them up.

Edited to add useful links,

Botanical Club of Cape Cod and the Islands
Garden in the Woods
Invasive Plant Atlas of New England

And, last but not least, The Evil Plant I Introduced to the Pristine Eco-system of Cape Cod.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Gays WIN! Marriage now meaningless
(posted with permission from MassEquality.org mailing list)

In Boston today gay heathen revelers celebrating the begining of state sanctioned gay marriage danced naked around a specially comissioned golden calf while singing "I wanted gay marriage and I GOT none, I fought the law and I WON, I fought the law and I won!" Marcus Rutlidge who caste the ten foot high solid gold statue looked on in amazement.

"We never thought it would get this far!" he said with tears coming to his eyes, "Our quest to destroy marriage has taken a huge leap forward!" Rutlidge acquired enough 24 karat gold for the statue by melting down discarded wedding rings he found on the street and in peoples' trash. He noted,

"Well once we succeded in making marriage meaningless the symbol of marriage, the wedding ring, became meaningless too. I guess people just got tired of wearing them and tossed them out." Rutlidge then disrobed and joined the dancers around his creation.

President John Thompson of the Americans for Socioreligious Sensibility (A.S.S.) expressed outrage,

"I'm deeply offended and saddened by what has happened here today. This is going to destroy the families of millions of Americans. Why if my wife wasn't already an ex-lesbian she might leave me for another woman!"

Thompson's fear is not without merit. Reports from around the globe indicate hundreds of thousands of husbands and wives have simply walked away from their spouses and families. Hazel Williams who left her husband of fifty years this morning commented on her reasoning.

"When I was a girl people got married for life, but now that gays can get married the wedding vows I made before God, and my Family aren't as special as they used to be. That's what marriage is all about: feeling more special than a bunch of fags and carpet munchers. Now that that's gone there really is no reason I shouldn't leave the man I've loved since highschool and abandon my children and grandchildren."

Father Aldus Winslow who heads the Massachussetts Advocate Society for Theological Reverance of the Bible, 8th Section (MASTRB8S) said,

"This is an abomination against God and nature! God doesn't care that two people who love each other are willing to make a lifelong committment to be faithful to one another, all he cares about is that one guy doesn't get turned on by another guy in the shower that time when I was in highschool. Fags are all about destroying marriage and society!" When asked his opinion on lesbian marriage Father Winslow replied,

"Nah, that's cool if two chicks wanna get it on as long as they aren't ugly and fat."

Radical Gay Rights Activist Ted Pinkerton and his fiancee (unnamed) expressed smug satisfaction at the news of today's gay marriages.

"Its time to come clean. Yeah the Christians were right, we had no intention of getting married we just wanted to ruin it for them, that's been the plan all along." His fiancee agreed,

"After struggling for 30 years for the right not to be arrested, beaten and killed for being what we are I can think of no better way to celebrate gay marriage than to NOT get married and continue to be promiscuous, depressed and self-destructive. And hey if that drags down society too then I'm all for it!"

Cecil Ruben who works in Boston's records department confirms that same-sex marriage licenses are simply not being filed.

"We had a couple male applicants who came in looking for the 'some-sex' licenses so they could score some chicks...won't they be surprised when they find out what they were really signing!" Ruben then cackled ruthlessly and put up his "next window please" sign.

Statewide issuance of same-sex marriage licenses has been light. Applicants for opposite-sex divorce have swamped all Massachussetts townships leading the Governor to declare a state of emergency.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Is It Friday Yet?

This weekend was one long round of effervescent couplish joy. I can't remember the last time we had so much fun at home. It wasn't so what we did as it was the two of us just had the Best Attitude. We went hiking and the Spousal Unit made homemade pizza and we watched movies Two Towers, again and Chicago and made out on the couch for hours and hours on Saturday night. Mmmmm.

Even dealing with the UNBELEIVABLY rude guy at Lenscrafters couldn't bring us down, we were laughing at his peon snotty little ass. Lenscrafters for crissakes. The tint on the glasses was too dark (Gods, it was awful) and we asked him to lighten it a bit. After turning into a petulant jerk, it took him a grand total of...oh..two minutes to fix them. Yeah dude, when you were looking for work, it was this or the Orange Julius, so getoveryourself.

The Spousal Unit has been dealing with a lot of personal stuff that is finally pulling together. I've been working through a lot of old emotional stuff. It really feels like we're both in this good place where we're looking forward to the future and feeling positive about life.

Now I just want the weekend to come so we can do it all over again.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Digging Up Bones

I'm part of the decluttering cult. (I watch Clean Sweep, Life Laundry and read Flylady.) I was brought up by serious packrats. Serious CHEAP packrats. There was some good, but I have a lot of lousy memories that had to do with wearing outgrown, funny-looking clothes and never buying anything new or nice because "we already have one of those!" and never having enough room because God forbid you get rid of those old books or a decrepit chair.

There's also an idea in decluttering circles that when you hold onto physical junk, you also hold onto emotional junk. Completely true. In my decluttering, I find stuff with bad memories to be among the most difficult to toss. Which is just weird.

Example, I found a bunch of photos from when I was involved in a group that later split apart in a nasty fight. I feel nothing but sad when I look at those pictures. And, they're not very good pictures. I'd never frame any of them or stick them in an album. But, I find it strangely daunting to throw them away.

I think it's because the situation never was really "resolved", because there wasn't any way to resolve it. On some level, I must feel that by holding onto those pictures, and keeping my feelings alive, I'm going to change the past. Silly, isn't it?

I also feel guilty to this day. Like I could have somehow made everything all right if I'd just said the right thing or worked hard enough.

I spend a good part of yesterday thinking about this. Writing this out. Working through it. When I get home today, those photos are going in a trash bag, and tomorrow they're going to the dump. I feel wonderful writing that. Light as a feather. I'm dumping much more than photos and it feels really, really good.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

You Go Girl

'Matrix' co-creator ready to be whole new woman

Oh, in case you had any doubts? Transexual transition is one of the most difficult things you can do. No matter how badly you need to do it and no matter how much support you get from those around you.

While I respect that Wachowski probably wants to get on with life and not become a poster child for transexualism, I really hope that when she fully transitions, she'll do a few interviews, do a little education and perhaps make life a little easier for others.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I'm Such A Mom

Two people that I love dearly are feeling depressed and shitty today. I take it to heart when people close to me are hurting. I want to kiss skinned knees and give hugs and make it all better. Sigh.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Where Do Cape Codders Go on Vacation?

Last week involved me training others and was hell. This week, I'm passively-aggressively sticking it to the Man by blithely surfing and looking for vacation ideas when I should be doing other things.

I found the most awesome looking restaurant in Shelburne Falls, which is very close to where I used to live. Aside from this fantastic looking restaurant that I've never been to and now really want to try, no trip out to western Massachusetts is complete without visiting Bub's.

I want to blow this popsicle stand and hop in my car and head out there this very minute.

The last words said to me today were, "Oh, if my phone rings, could you pick it up and give them my cell phone number?" Asshole. I hope he gets twenty unsolicted sales calls.