I don't really have much to say. I talked further to the vet on Saturday to discuss the kitty's bloodwork. That was not helpful. There could be nothing substantial. On the other hand, there's a couple of things consistent with FIP which is a horrible terminal disease that there's no definite test for.
I really don't think it's FIP, and I don't think that's just wishful thinking. Still, even considering it makes me woozy and unhappy. I love this cat and she's been with us a long time.
I really think it was just the heat though. I stopped looking up cat symptoms on the internet and observed the cat. What did the cat want, what made her comfortable? Well, she kept wanting to go downstairs 'cause it's nice and cool (We don't have air conditioning.) , and we decided to go ahead and let her. Usually we try to keep her out of the basement. She's been napping on the futon in the basement during the day the past couple of days and seems lots better than she did on Friday. Plus, I looked up more cat symptoms just long enough to note that overheating can 'cause, among other things, staggering in a cat. And, older and fatter cats are more suspectible.
She's a very smart cat, and spousal unit thinks we should pay attention to what she wants, because she'll find a way of letting us know if she's in real distress. I think the spousal unit's right.
There's quite a bit I haven't gone into because I don't feel comfortable blogging about it, but there's a ton of other stuff that's causing me stress right now. First and foremost, I'm furious at my work, absolutely sick with anger, and have no way of expressing it. My class is very fast-paced and intense and making me all anxious.
On a lesser level, there's been trying to meet with the carpenter, there's a situation with my parents, and on Sunday it was all too much and I started weeping on the spousal unit's shoulder. I'd had to cancel something that I'd really wanted to go to on Sunday, and it was absolutely the best decision given how tapped I was, but it really brought home to me just how tired and worn out I was feeling.
The crying made me feel much better. I also had a long, long talk with the spousal unit about my work frustrations, because I'm completely getting screwed at work, and I just needed some validation from someone who knows the situation and can tell me that I'm not crazy or stupid or unreasonable. I had a major pity party for myself yesterday, one of those times when you just act like a child and wail and cry and want the universe to personally tell you it loves you. Generally speaking, I do feel fairly loved and lucky, but I wasn't feeling it this weekend. Also, I feel guilty because I've been blowing off some friends who could use a phone call or an email because I feel so lousy. They don't know that though. For all they know, I'm off sunning myself on a beach somewhere.
A lot of it is just the confluence of several different things. And, my frustrations with work are spilling over everywhere else. If it wasn't for work, I'd still be worried over the cat, I'd still be annoyed with the carpenter, I'd still have a situation where my parents have a problem that needs my help, I'd still have been running around on a volunteer related issue (oops, forgot about that one until now!), I'd still have a class, but goddamnit, I think I could cope if I wasn't being beaten down by work.
Well, it would be nice if it didn't all happen in one weekend, but even then, I think I could cope. I'd be normal sort of tired, instead of completely fucking tapped out and frustrated. Judas Priest, it's only Monday and my attitude already stinks. Thank the Gods it's a short week.
I did do a reassuring rune reading for myself. Basically it said that things were out of my direct control, but moving ahead and would manifest when the time came. I find the runes to be very helpful, they haven't steered me wrong yet so I'm going to go with it.
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