Dolphin With Rabies

Life on beautiful Cape Cod.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Unintentional humor from the Cape Cod Times.

Just thought I'd share the latest fashion article from the Cape Cod Times, so you could get some insight into the hopping fashion mecca I live in. This is an article about...CAPRI PANTS! Well, about pants in general, but mostly about capri pants.

The long and short of it (July 28, 2003)
No matter how much leg you want to show, there's a pant to fit

Mention Capri pants and many baby boomers will see actress Audrey Hepburn curled catlike in tight black knee-length pants of the type made popular on the island of Capri, off Italy's Almafi coast.

I'm not a boomer, so I can't comment on whether many baby boomers really do think this way. I do know that capri pants always make ME think of "fast" gals from the early 1960s. Or vaguely trashy housewives from the same era.

Cropped pants bring to mind first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, in slim-fitting pants ending just above the ankle.

Got to get those Kennedy reference in for the benefit of the Camelot obsessed tourists.

Think trousers and there is actress Katharine Hepburn, one of the first to popularize a full-legged style normally seen on men because, she once said, she didn't like the feeling of stockings on her legs.

Gratuitious Kate Hepburn reference. Of course.

Ellen Handel of South Chatham says her 4-year-old daughter, Lauren, and her 11-year-old daughter, Alicia, have matching flowered Capris from Old Navy. Handel, who says she's in her mid-40s, was unsure about buying herself midcalf pants with a flare, but purchased a pair of tan, drawstring khakis after Alicia reassured her.

The idea of a woman in her forties passively taking fashion advice from her tween daughter gives me the willies. I hope to God I never get stuck behind her in traffic. Considering her timidity at the prospect of purchasing a pair of tan khakis, (tan khakis? bit of repetition there) I'm sure I'd die in the time it would take her to make a left onto Route 28.

Cape Cod Mall marketing director Courtney Cappallo says although she walks past stores showing Capris every day, she didn't really consider trying a pair until her sister, who has a similar build, showed up for a visit with nothing but Capri pants.

Doesn't it sound like her sister showed up on her doorstep wearing nothing but a pair of Capri pants? That would make quite an impression. Wonder what the neighbors thought?

(Well, I know what they thought. And what they did. They poked their heads out the door, said, "Aw, crazy summah people! and promptly called up their best friends to say, "Would you BELIEVE...?")

She looked great, says Cappallo, who was heading out buy a tan pair.

Heading out? I thought Cappallo worked at the Mall. She can't just stop by on her lunch hour?

The idea that most any length is acceptable produces a "I'll-never-have-to-hem-again!" euphoria.

What other sorts of emotional flutter does one get besides "I'll-never-have-to-hem-again!" euphoria?

I'm partial to "I'll never have to defrost the icebox again!" giddiness myself.

Oh, wait, that should be "I'll-never-have-to-defrost-the-icebox-again!" giddiness. Because Mr. Hyphen is your friend.

You can get away with it in the sporty, knit styles but if you want to look good in a more tailored and dressy-for-evening shiny Capri, you have to resort to needle and thread.

I refuse to think about "dressy-for-evening shiny Capris".

"I don't see cropped or Capris in my older clientele, except for the golfers," Sanders says. "They'll go for the Capris because they want to stay young and look in style."

"In style" and "older golfer". I know when I think of one I always think of the other.

Actresses like Cameron Diaz and singer J.Lo...don't need to worry much about camouflaging figure flaws. Nevertheless, they've been seen on the red carpet wearing silky parachute pants, cinched at the knee with a button or bow. You won't find the highly dramatic, flamboyant style in stores like Talbots. But, you will see the knickers-style pants in paintings, because the military leader Napoleon favored them.

Right.