Morons

I'm still sick which made the following exchange so much more pleasant.

ring-ring

Me: "Hello, , this is Marina".
Moron: "My card didn't go through and I want to pay for your service!"
Me. "Okay, let me see if I can look up your..."
Moron: "I'm calling from VeryFarOverseasCountry! This call is costing me a fortune!"
Me. "All righty then. Name, so I can look up your account? "
Moron: "I don't know why it didn't go through, there's plenty of money on it."
Me: "Sometimes that happens. Can I get your name?"
Moron: "It's LaughablyCommonLastName. Let me spell it for you..."
Me: "Okay, got it. Do you have another address, say a US address? Because if there's a different address on file, that could cause the card to be rejected."
Moron: Of course I do. You can't get mail at all around here."
Me: "Right. Could I have that address?"
Moron: "I'm calling from VeryFarOverseasCountry! This call is costing me a fortune!"
Me: "Would you prefer to email me the information?"
Moron: "Well I typed it in already."
Me: "I don't have it. Can I have your address and the card number?"
Moron: "What do you mean you don't have it? I typed it in. I typed in the card number too."

After much backing and forthing, we finally establish that he does not have his card on him. After all, what could make more sense than to make a transatlantic phone call in reference to an attempted credit card transaction without actually having said credit card on you.

After FINALLY getting his States address and FINALLY getting another card number out of him and FINALLY determining what level of service he wants, we're almost ready to conclude. At this point I'm downright ecsatic to be getting to the end of this call.

Moron: "I still don't know why it didn't go through. It has plenty of money on it."
Me: "Sometimes it just happens with overseas transactions. I'll email you if I have any further difficulty."
Moron: "But why? It's all online. I don't underst..."
Me: "Bye!"

Lord, how do these people manage to get out in the world? I can't wait to move to a job that doesn't involve dealing with the public. They're all idiots.