Dolphin With Rabies

Life on beautiful Cape Cod.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

I love New England

We've got more sarcasm per square inch than anywhere else in the country. I just got the South Pacific Wholesale Company catalog, if you have an appreciation of sarcasm and are into beads, check it out. You'll be able to read such gems as the following,

"I like to think that our slow service is what sets up apart from the rest of the industry"

"With returns please include a copy of the original invoice with a rational written explanation of what you expect us to do about it."

About visiting the store,

"Bring your small children-we will provide leashes.

Somewhere I have saved their published flyer published after Jerry Garcia's death. This time, the owner outdid himself. He referred to the Deadheads as "Jerry's kids", and offered them jobs and a new reason to live if they could make it to South Pacific Wholesale's retail store. Hee!

Thinking about it, I suppose it's really as much eccentricity and an odd view of the world as it is sarcasm per se. It reminds me a bit of the owner of the Dove's Nest in Sunderland, Massachussetts. He was, in a word, mad.

The Dove's Nest offered incredibly cheap diner food, with the grill visible from where you sat. The owner of the Dove's Nest would keep up a steady monologue as he cooked, about current events, what was going on his life, the co-ed softball team the Dove's Nest Dodgers, and odd tangents. (High school Catholic school basketball scholarships was one topic I remember.)

Oh, and he talked to the pancake batter. After pouring out another pancake, he'd say "Ha, you thought you'd escape that time? Not a chance."

He outdid himself during the Iran-Contra hearings. He was cooking pancakes, eggs and bacon and somehow managed to related EVERYTHING on the grill to players in the Iran-Contra hearings.This went on for several minutes. I wish I'd had a tape recorder, it was one of the most incredible monologues I've every heard, and I couldn't tell you a word of it.